Fear And The Future

There are countless times in the Bible where God tells his people to not worry or be afraid.Philippians 4:6-7, Isaiah 41:10, Luke 12: 24-34, and SO many more (highly recommend looking these up). There is even an entire section in the sermon on the mount titled “Do Not Worry.” The sermon on the mount being one of, if not the greatest, sermons ever given by Jesus himself. Christ has made it pretty clear through his Word to NOT worry. Obviously Christ calls us to not worry or be afraid, but to trust Him. We are told that at a very young age, but even then, as humans, we struggle with worry and fear on the daily. Why is that? Well, let’s talk about that.

As many of you know I am going into my senior year at Ball State. I actually start in about a week. Luckily this year will most likely be my easiest year, which is amazing. I could not be more excited to start my epic senior year here at school, but at the same time, as time passes, the idea of life outside of school begins to creep in. My plan for post undergrad is to go to PT school, which is very exciting and stressful at the same time. I have been talking about going to PT school since I fell in love with it in high school. Well, that time is slowly approaching. As seniors we are constantly asked what our plans are for after school. Luckily I have plans, whereas a lot of students have no idea. But just because I have a goal to go to PT school doesn’t make the fear of the future completely disappear. That’s what this whole post is really about. Fear and the future.

Yes, I am VERY excited to graduate from school and begin studying physical therapy, but at the same time I am terrified. If you know me pretty well, I am not the biggest fan of change, especially big life changes. Graduating and moving onto grad school is kind of a big one. Honestly I’m not afraid of going to grad school, but right now my biggest fear is getting into grad school in general. I’m afraid I’m going to fail. Failure is one of my biggest fears. I know that may sound crazy, but physical therapy school is extremely difficult to get into. I have worked my butt off these past couple of years to hopefully get the chance to go to PT school. My heart deeply waits for the day when I hopefully get an acceptance letter to any school. I truly believe that the Lord has put this passion of physical therapy in my heart. I also truly believe that the Lord is going to do what He wants with my life. In my 21 years of life there has been many times where I had plans and hopes for my life, but the Lord had different ones. My athletic career, where I went to school, and of course, the fate of my mom.

Alright if I’m being honest here, yes I am nervous about grad school, but most of my fear and worry surrounds the future of my family. The idea of what my family is to me for 19 years drastically changed when Hope passed (remember when I said I don’t like change). I have no idea what the Lord is going to do with me, my dad, and my brother and that scares me. I love my family more than anything and I find so much comfort in them. My heart was so full with my family of 4. All of a sudden, 4 went to 3. My mom was gone. Life became different, home didn’t really feel like home, and a piece of my heart was now gone. One of the most concrete parts of my life completely changed. A once clear future became so blurry. What does this mean? For me? For my family? For the future? All I could say was I don’t know and I’m scared. I remember crying to my dad and all I could say was “I’m scared.” I mean could you blame me?

It has almost been 2 years since my mom has passed and I have learned a lot. One of the biggest things I have learned is about fear and worry, especially about the future. Christ has taught me so much about how to trust Him. I know that may sound cliché, but the idea of trusting Christ becomes everything to you when you have nothing else to really trust. Like I wrote earlier, Christ calls us to NOT worry endless times in his Word. He’s not just saying that to give us a little temporary satisfaction and peace, but He truly means it. There is a difference between a friend telling you to not worry and the God of all creation, and the one who has your entire life planned, telling you to not worry. Can you see what I’m saying?

I love the section of verses in Luke 12. A chunk of verses states, “Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest? Consider how the wild flowers grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you—you of little faith! And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it.” I love how the Lord gives us such a clear visual in this passage. He talks about the ravens and how they do not sit there and worry about where they are going to get food. He mentions the flowers. You don’t see flowers out in a field scared and worrying about if they will grow. If the God of the universe takes care of the ravens and the flowers, how much more would he do for his prize creation, His beloved children.

As humans, including me, we sit here worrying about what our lives are going to be. Afraid of what the future will hold. Scared that life isn’t going to turn out the way we want. I have learned that sitting here worrying about our lives isn’t going to change anything. Christ says, “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?” He’s right! I could sit here all day and worry about if I’m going to get into grad school or what the heck God is going to with my family, but that isn’t going to do anything but put more strain on my heart. The Lord loves His people more than anything in the world (enough to die for them). Wouldn’t you think he loves us enough to take care of us and our futures. All we need to do is have faith! I’m not going to lie, looking back at my life, it has been a rocky road, but there was never a moment when Christ left my side. In those moments of fear and worry, Christ reminds me that He has got everything under control. The life that He has planned for me may NOT be what I had intended for my life, but it will surely be a good one. One that will bring Him and His kingdom glory. One that shows growth and perseverance. One that I will look back at and see the finger prints of God all over it.

Are there days where I wonder what the heck God is doing in my life? Yes. Are there moments where I ask God why? Yes. Will there be moments where I am going to have to take a step of faith in which I am seriously uncomfortable? Yeah. Will there be moments like this for the rest of my life? Oh yes. But that’s okay! God doesn’t expect us to know every step of every day in our lives. Actually our minds can’t even imagine it. But Christ does call us to NOT worry or be afraid, but to trust Him.

I truly do have no idea what the Lord has planned for my life. Which school I will end up at, who I’m going to marry, my future job, what God is going to do with me, my dad, and my brother. But it’s not my job to sit here and try to figure it out. My job right now is to trust in Him, whole heartedly. To have faith. My job is to rest in the fact that I have a loving and powerful God who is all-knowing. A God of HOPE. A God who has made is presence very much known in my life, in the good times and bad. My life so far may not look exactly how I would have planned it, but I wouldn’t want it any other way.

So goodbye fear, cheers to the SENIOR YEAR, and God, let’s do this!

 

VERSE OF THE POST: “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

-Matthew 6:34